Sundaram Chauhan

My Peace

Starting from scratch

yet again

why do I keep

falling back to zero?

Was so far ahead

so fast that

they declared

I was a hero.

There perhaps

oh God

is something

you want me to know.

But I only wish

you’d use

a kinder way

than pushing me so low.

Each time

I looked back

dug hard

and found something wise.

But the next time

let me rejoice

a while longer

if I reach new highs.

Falling down

getting up and

walking again

might’ve once been fun.

Hand me back

my peace now

I surrender to you

I think I am done.

© Sundaram Chauhan

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70 comments

  1. I like this.

    I makes me ruminate in the notion that while it may seem easier to give up than to keep going; in reality it is harder to do nothing, than it is to one hundred little somethings.

    Perhaps sometimes we are knocked down not to be chastised or challenged but to given a chance to reflect on how high we have climbed.

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  3. So beautifully written, I can much relate to this, at moments when I have been motivated to do something grest only to lose ground in due course of time. And yet sometimes it’s also a bit of relief for me to cede ground and be the underdog. I suppose I was never a fore runner by choice.

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    • Well said….it actually feels good sometimes to be an underdog. No expectations weigh you down, and you can again feel light enough to take a flight. Thanks for sharing your views Deb…🙏🙏 Appreciate it. ☺️☺️

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  7. It is very well written. Really.
    But you know what, no matter how much we wish for these we will be falling back. Maybe harder than before. Wishing you the strength to bounce back even harder.
    Special mention for this…Why do I keep falling back to zero!! It just feels so relatable.

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    • Thanks Chetna…yup…falling back is inevitable…I agree…and I’m all geared up for it. Just a thought thinking back on it. I appreciate your kind support my friend. And rest assured I’ll always bounce back harder. Sharing the feelings only makes us stronger I have experienced. 🙏🍀🍀🙏

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  10. If not for the valleys…..where would be the mountains? The deeper they are from the peeks the higher up our eyes go to find hope. Keep your eyes on Jesus. I loved your writing. I’ve been at that place….again and again…but only there, as I look back, have I grown the most.

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  12. Such a full and thoughtful writing… it encourages me to begin, to keep going, to surrender, to let peace come.. I find it very easing, thank you Sundaram 🌷🤘🙏

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    • Now that’s what the zen teaches, and so did the Buddha… staying unaffected by the high and lows of life. Feeling the feelings, without reacting to them. That’s a very noble aim, but quite as daunting to achieve. I try that myself. 🙏🙏🙏

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  14. Your words remind me that sometimes we must choose to rest. Not every problem is ours to solve, not even all the ones that directly involve us. It is healthy to acknowledge our limitations.

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  29. Beautifully put Sundaram..yes God has a heavy hand with us at times..but it is so hard to get our attention! I love how you expressed this cycle..and yes it is the only way we will grow. Your poem, takes it out of theory and brings it to the personal, the feelings of frustration and despair, to find oneself at the starting line..once again! I have of course felt this too in my own life, but as I get older I look back and see the wisdom of each start over. Stagnancy is death…but at some point, like you, we say.. we are done..and ready for what comes next. Wonderful poem Sundaram, and very relatable to me personally my friend.

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    • Thanks Karima… well said…It is so hard to get our attention….
      It all feels so justified, required even retrospectively…
      I too have only grown, as you mentioned, by starting over… for years sometimes it feels like a stagnant life, and then one fine day you start at a heightened state, wondering what really changed.
      Thanks Karima…🙏🍀🙏

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